This is it

This is me.
At the end of the day.
Tired and lazy.
Can't be bothered.
Can't be...
Can't be whatever.
It's late. It's early.
It's time-consuming.
It's wretched. It's ugly.
It's sad. It's confused.
It's big. It's small.
It lays by the doorway sulking.
It contemplates life's actions.
Standing... ready... waiting...
Waiting... always waiting.
You knew. You knew it all along.
Maybe.

Maybe someday you'll actually learn your lesson.
You'll use your brains and learn to think.
Not be stupid. Always stupid.
Dimwit. Idiot. Selfish. Bitch.
Where are you?
Where are you now?
You can't see yourself.
Everyone else is around you.
You can't see around you.
You don't know.
You don't know anything.
Why?
Because this is it.
This is the way it has to be.
You made it happen.
You made it this way.
You will suffer.
Guilt.

So this is it.
Will you fall?
Or will you find?