Today's such a sad day. It's the day of the Closing Ceremony of the Olympics. Such sweet sorrow. Oh wait, sorry. Such bitter sorrow! Can't see Michael Phelps anymore! Then again it's been a while since the swimming finished. But still. Well, I'm content with just looking and ogling at pictures of him at this moment. =)
Today was an overall ok day. Hmm. I'm wondering why things have to be the way they are with me. Why! Anyway, I'm finding it hard to do a lot of things. I feel quite useless. I've been wondering a few things.
1. What's the use of experience if you don't know the lesson behind it. Sometimes people do need to be shown the ropes.
2. If I didn't have a title would people still listen to me?
Titles. Is that all people think about? First of all I don't even look my age and that plainly means people think I'm younger. I know people still do like to step over me, even if they don't know it. It's not nice. It's a terrible thing to do. It just degrades someone and makes them feel like they're not suited for the job or not worthy to be called anything. Or not even worthy. Full stop.
Maybe I'm just talking rubbish and if anyone actually reads this, hell, tomorrow it may all be forgotten. I just feel this way now. I don't really know how and what to say to whom. But I know that I need some sort of healing coz I myself have been going through some stuff which many people don't know and I may just lash out on some people. I don't mean to talk bad about anyone. I'm just wondering why...
Maybe I'll just stop there for today and just spill it out to Fr. Arro tomorrow. Will definitely be a lot better.
For now, I'll go back to ogling at pictures of Phelps to help ease my mind and try and forget about my life. But he's definitely been an inspiration, "one way or another". His ambitiousness, is very charming and something I should try to have more of. Having ambition, drive, determination, motivation. But I guess with all I've been feeling, how is one supposed to be motivated? Phelps is not someone "real" in my life right now. And neither are the other 10. If they were I'd probably be in the US or UK right now pursuing my dream of acting. Not saying that people don't help motivate me but sometimes other people can pull you down no matter how soft they're pulling. Maybe I'm perceiving things wrongly. I know I may not be all that right but what can one help thinking when people say or do things that you don't feel is right?
These are just my thoughts on the week. As I said it may all be forgotten tomorrow, unless I read my blog again. Haha. There's a high chance that may happen.
I don't hold grudges, I try not to judge, I try to be kind, to be nice. I try to be true to who I am, to be strong, to hold it in and not show it. It may be good, it may be bad. Not that I do it all the time, but sometimes.
I wish the Summers were here to help me and all of us here in Singapore. We definitely need people like them to help us enrich our spiritual lives right now. I miss them.
I wish you all a great week ahead. I love you all! Family and friends!
On the way down
I saw you, and you saved me from myself
And I won't forget the way you loved me
And on the way down I almost fell right through
But I held on to you
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